


Queentolt: The Shequel

by Turtlewatcher



Series: Queentolt [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Comfort, Drag, Fluff, M/M, Modern Era, Reibert - Freeform, Silly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:48:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28002660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Turtlewatcher/pseuds/Turtlewatcher
Summary: Bertolt: Awkward by day. Drag queen by night.Reiner: His #1 fan.A fluffy collection of reibert thoughts operating under the premise as stated above.
Relationships: Reiner Braun/Bertolt Hoover
Series: Queentolt [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2050971
Comments: 14
Kudos: 25





	1. I.D.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo’s Bar has a star and her name is:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who read the first one(s) - I guess I just can’t let Dragtolt go.

“Introducing the _tall,_ the _beautiful,_ -”

“Reiner!” Theo barked, “I need you at the door!”

Reiner pried his eyes from the pity of an area Theo called a “stage” and cut his way through the crowd. Ridiculous. He wasn’t even a bouncer. 

He held his hand out to a girl who was way overdressed for Theo’s of all places.

“I.D.” 

She put on a pretty smile.

“Oh, um, I sort of forgot it. I was hoping-”

“Sorry, I can’t. I need to see an I.D.”

Theo’s may be a dump, but they weren’t taking risks on strangers. That the ceiling might fall on top of their heads any day now was, frankly, risk enough around there.

“Oh, well. I-” She paused and looked up with blinking eyes. “I can give you my phone number.”

Reiner raised an eyebrow. 

“I have a boyfriend.”

Her face switched fast from sweet to eye rolling. She walked away. Reiner leaned back far enough to get a glimpse of Bertolt’s lip sync and smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I love women, I think they're amazing... I just don't want to sleep with them." - Jujubee


	2. Sadtolt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bertolt has an Insta-troll and Reiner is his savior. That’s it. That’s the whole thing. You don’t even have to read it now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Liberal use of italics

Bertolt chewed his nail, his _real_ nail, and pulled his knees to his chest. He had tried every distraction under the sun (apartment roof). Ice cream, anxious pacing, listening to music, and scrolling through other social media had all failed him. 

The comment remained. It was so laughably mean and poorly written that he _knew_ in his logical brain it could not possibly be anything other than a troll. 

Of course, the rest of his brain? The irrational brain that controlled his sinking feelings of unequivocal trash-ness? That brain was winning. By a landslide. 

The front door clicked, opened, and shut. Bertolt didn’t move.

“Bert?”

Bertolt could hear Reiner searching the wall and ducked his face into his legs. Light flooded the room. A sturdy hand flattened between his shoulder blades.

“You ok,” Reiner coaxed. It was more of a: ‘Why the fuck are you in the dark right now?’ But, like, in a nice way. Bertolt handed his phone over, head safely hiding from the world still. 

It took a second, but Reiner sighed as soon as he finished the paragraph of hate mail beneath Bertolt’s drag persona’s latest post.

“It’s just a troll.”

“I know.”

Bertolt’s voice cracked. There had been so much stress lately and this was just the icing on the big, ugly cake of his life. That he had eaten too much of, apparently!

“Bert,” Reiner soothed, rubbing his back.

When Bertolt finally lifted his head, tears were already streaming. Arms pulled him in immediately. 

“I’m _fat!”_

He flopped his wet face into Reiner’s neck. Reiner huffed.

“You are _not_ -”

“I’ve gone up a whole dress size, Reiner. I ate half a pint of ice cream an hour ago. And you kn-know what?” Bertolt snuffled loudly. “I would’ve eaten the _whole_ pint, but I ate the _first_ half yesterday!”

It had been a long time coming. Bertolt was usually the one doing the holding, but something about work and the holidays and the gray weather had worn him down to a rare, but not unheard of, mess. Reiner’s hands ran up and down until Bertolt was a coherent being again. 

“Feel better?” Reiner said softly.

Bertolt took in a gaspy breath. Let out a shaky sigh.

“Yeah,” he conceded.

“And you know you’re not fat.”

He pouted.

“I know.”

“You do realize you’re a literal beanpole. Right?”

“I know.” 

“And if you went up a dress size, I didn’t even notice.”

“Really?”

“Mmhm.”

Bertolt leaned back in. He was tired, but had come back to his senses at least.

“Sorry.”

“You should be. I thought I was the one who cried around here,” Reiner teased. Bertolt broke a smile and looked at Reiner.

“You know what would make me feel better?”

“What?”

“You can work out with me.”

Reiner ran a hand through Bertolt’s hair.

“You hate running in the cold.”

“Well… I was thinking _inside.”_

Bertolt ran a hand up Reiner’s leg. He was recovering quickly from his episode.

Reiner chuckled and took this as his cue that his services, at least not his current services, were no longer required. Besides, one of them should actually heat up dinner at some point.

“Is sex all you think about,” Rener teased, kissing Bertolt’s forehead and walking away.

“But - Reiner! I’m sad! Come back!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Back rolls?!” - Alyssa Edwards


	3. Speechless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bertolt can’t speak. Not when the man on the stool in front of him keeps looking at him like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right after they meet. Before Bertolt totally takes this man home.

By the time Bertolt was full boy again, it was almost time to meet Reiner. He nervously finger-combed his hair in the mirror and checked that all the lipstick was really gone from the corners of his mouth before beginning the chore that was carting all his drag back to the trunk of his car. 

He spent the walk desperately searching his surroundings for the man he had just met and dreading what he might do if he actually saw him. What _was_ he supposed to do when he saw him? Sure, he had been nervous before, but this guy had his stomach in all sorts of knots. Bertolt groaned and circled back to the club, passing seamlessly through it’s solid core door. An ironic expenditure on Theo’s part, considering the lack of insulation in every single wall. And Bertolt would certainly know, considering the chill that set in every time he had to change backstage during the winter.

But it wasn’t winter. It was Spring. Season of love. 

Ok, he was waxing poetic perhaps. So he ordered a drink (and a shot) and waited until he caught sight of him. His heart thunked heavy. Reiner was weaving through the club, straight towards him, which was precisely the point, but still made Bertolt nervous - nauseous - with anticipation.

“Hey,” Reiner said. Stated. _Uttered._

The hustle, shuffle, bustle of the bar kept on around them. A bubble of pure awkwardness enveloped them, as if Bertolt had carved it all himself with his total and complete silence. 

“Um. I’m going to get a drink,” Reiner muttered. 

Bertolt sensed equal parts amusement and confusion. But what did he know?

“Do you want another?”

At this point, Bertolt knew he needed to actually… um… speak. Lest he really screw it. There was something beneath that smiling surface in front of him. Somewhere, underneath that confident exterior, was a big sweetheart. 

And, ok, it had been ages since he had taken anyone home and would it really be so awful to have a little fun? Pieck kept telling him he should have fun. 

Fun. _Fun._

Bertolt lurched forward and planted a teeny, tiny peck on Reiner’s lips. Reiner’s face of shock would be seared in Bertolt’s memory for all time. 

“Sorry. I’m so sorry. That was so - Oh -” 

Bertolt held his fingers to his lips. Reiner knocked his hands out of the way and grasped his face. He tasted like spearmint gum. No, there _was_ gum. 

“I - I don’t live that far,” Bertolt stuttered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “No, girl. I can barely speak fucking English.” - Pearl
> 
> Is it fic? Is it crack? Who can say.


End file.
